Day 1: Flying makes me nervous. This is a known fact. Even as I traced the faint outlines of mountain ranges in the distance on that sad excuse of a window I had to consciously remind myself to forget about the frailty of the aluminium can I was on. A plethora of accidents ran through my mind; engines failing, bolts coming loose, someone forgetting to pressurize the cabin. Murphy's law; need I explain? I took a deep breath and watched the wings glide above miles and miles of clouds that bore an uncanny resemblance to snow covered trees. Indiana Jones had his snake pit, I have my aeroplanes.
Day 2: The novelty of cycling never wears off. Furious pedaling as the bicycle chains violently rattle against its rings, so desperate to break free. Palms marked redder with each tightened grip on the rubber handlebars. Balancing my entire weight on a thin metal frame. And when those spokes shimmer golden in the sun, I swear to you, there is no other feeling.
Day 3: "Dah cuba?" (Have you tried?) I thought of my life as the sun set a purple hue to the evening sky. How many times have I claimed ownership to another person's heart and yet refused to step up when the going got tough? I've lost count. How many times have I whimpered in my sleep, left at the mercy of a telephone call? I've lost count. At the time, I was too engrossed with my past to realize that the islander was talking about jet skis and not my attempts to love wholeheartedly without losing my footing. I answered with a swift, "Dah cuba dah." (I've tried.)
Day 4: I'll let you in on a little secret: a part of me never came back home. Breathe, survive, repeat.
3 comments:
Assalamualaikum :)
Dear emilia,
I don't know you, and this is the first time I read your blog. My friend posted in facebook saying you were lost. So, I took a look at your friends twitter, and there was a tweet saying you cried and you hung up the phone call. I'm not sure what happen to you for the past 48 hours (or more) when you were missing, but I pray to Allah for your safety,and comfort :)
2:286 On no soul doth Allah Place a burden greater than it can bear. It gets every good that it earns, and it suffers every ill that it earns. (Pray:) "Our Lord! Condemn us not if we forget or fall into error; our Lord! Lay not on us a burden Like that which Thou didst lay on those before us; Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Blot out our sins, and grant us forgiveness. Have mercy on us. Thou art our Protector; Help us against those who stand against faith."
Stay strong :D
Glad you're safe.
The whole purpose of travelling is to come back as a new person(or at least one shade darker).Been missing your randomness.Take care emilia :) - helmi
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