Things I did not say out loud today

a) Why is there a hurricane in my uterus & why is God punishing me for not getting knocked up?

b) A balloon is a really neat way of packaging Helium gas.

c) Hello Mr. Policeman, sir. Take no notice of the sandwich in my mouth. When I don't give in to the glutton gnome living inside my stomach, I'm actually a really good driver.

d) Ya Allah, boleh tak sekali sebulan nak jadi lelaki? #menstrual cramps.

e) Maybe if I stare at this bird long enough, it'll start braiding my hair like in the movies. Hollywood always gets the best birds.

f) I wonder how much Lynda Carter got paid to twirl in a Wonder Woman costume. Bet she didn't have to take Field Theory classes...

Sigh, nak tukar kerjaya...